frightfiction Chapter 82 The Past Died in a Dream, the Old Self Is No Longer the Real Self
Chapter 82 The Past Died in a Dream, the Old Self Is No Longer the Real Self
……
As they strolled around, Yun Fuyu took Xi'er to the bar he frequented.
Hen brought Yun Fuyu to the bar for the first time. During the days when Yun Fuyu thought Xier had passed away, he often went there out of confusion, just to escape reality with the feeling of dizziness.
Although the bartender questioned Seele because she was underage, Yun Fuyu swore that he would never let Seele drink alcohol, so the bartender let them in with some skepticism.
After ordering Seele an extra sweet drink, Yun Fuyu ordered a very low-alcohol cocktail for himself, drank half of it in one gulp in the dim light, and then spoke softly with Seele.
Seele was a little uncomfortable: "Why did you bring me here?"
The lighting was dim, and the music, though not loud, lacked any aesthetic appeal. Although no one was speaking loudly, there were indeed quite a few people whispering around, and the noisy white noise was hardly comfortable.
Yun: "I often came here during the period when the Herrscher of Death was killed."
"..."
Seele's empathy always allows her to connect deeply with others. Among all the people Seele knows, Yun Fuyu is quite unique, which naturally makes it even easier for her to empathize with her.
She couldn't help but ask, "Were you very sad at that time? Logically speaking, the Seele you knew had no relation to you; you were just someone you traveled with for a while."
Whether in the play or in real life, Seele wanted to ask this question.
He replied, "I don't know if it's confusion or sadness. I thought so too, that I hadn't experienced much with Seele, and even if we had some feelings for each other, they probably weren't very deep."
"But when she became a Herrscher, when she looked down on everything in the world, when she pretended to care about me but then plunged a blade into my heart... I couldn't help but wonder if she still remembered me?"
"The Herrscher's consciousness is chaotic and evil, turning trusted companions into demons. I will never forget my own cowardice and weakness."
“Until…Seele appeared before me.”
He thinks this way both on and off screen.
"My first question to myself was, is this Seele the Seele I know?"
In the game, this Seele is not the Seele of the past. Outside the game, the current Seele is a mixture of creation and decay, and also a mixture of the original Seele and the Herrscher Seele.
"My answer is, whatever the truth is, I have indeed been captivated by Seele once again—don't mind my misused words."
"So, after thinking it over, I suddenly realized that this question is no longer important. Whether you are Seele or not, it doesn't affect my current desire to call you Seele and to do everything I can to accompany and protect you."
"Because... the past died in a dream, the old self is no longer the real self. The future can still be pursued, because I am unique, therefore I am unique."
(Surface meaning: Let bygones be bygones, for I am not who I am today. The future is still within reach, for I stand before Seele right now, and my only love is for you; my only love is my only self.)
He spoke very slowly, like a slightly tipsy gentleman uttering strange words. Seele didn't quite understand all his meaning, but she roughly knew he was saying: his feelings for Seele were unique, and he didn't want Seele to reject him because of his past, because he knew the difference between Seele and Seele, he could distinguish them clearly.
Whether on or off screen.
Seele seemed to be burying her head in her drink, and she deliberately made loud slurping noises.
Yun Fuyu slapped her forehead: "My alcohol tolerance has always been very low, Hen has certified it! Xier, if I say anything nonsense, please don't take it to heart."
Seele put down her cup, her gaze calm, the slight blush on her face invisible in the dim light.
"What if Seele takes it to heart?"
"Hmm... then, shall we just leave it there?"
"What a cunning answer..."
"Because you are Seele."
"……snort."
"..."
Just then, a hand suddenly landed on Seele's shoulder, and a cheerful female voice rang out: "Seele, you're not an adult yet, how did you get into a bar? You over there, did you lure our Seele in?"
Seele recognized the voice: Himeko, the captain of the Fifth Special Operations Squad. Seele's current identity was that of a member of Himeko's Fifth Squad.
Himeko is a mature and beautiful woman with red hair, but unfortunately, a certain lolicon only has eyes for Seele. She looks almost exactly like Himeko from the current civilization, but unfortunately, Yun Fuyu only has eyes for Seele.
"I've heard so much about you, Captain Himeko."
Yun Fuyu stood up, greeted her, and then said, "This doesn't count as 'abduction.' I told the bartender that Xier wouldn't be allowed to drink."
Himeko gave him a meaningful look: "Kid, that's not what I meant. Our Seele is only fourteen years old. If you dare to have any improper thoughts, the Fifth Squad will 'declare war' on you."
Seele, having already made it a habit, answered first: "Seele and him don't..."
As soon as the words left her mouth, even the gentle woman felt an urge to exclaim "Holy crap!" How many times had this happened already?
Yun Fuyu interrupted her: "I know, that's why I've never made any demands on Xier, and I've never dared to have any improper thoughts."
He didn't believe Himeko was unaware that the Herrscher of Death looked like Seele, nor did he believe that Himeko had never paid attention to his past story with Seele.
So he said righteously, "This is a private matter, and it depends on Seele's wishes. I don't expect Seele to have any feelings for me, but at least we are friends, and we haven't done anything to end our friendship. Himeko, you have crossed the line."
Himeko was taken aback by his imposing manner. After thinking it over carefully, she realized she had only made a joke, right? Why did it sound like she had done something wrong?
In the dim light and with a slightly tipsy mind, Yun Fuyu only then noticed that there seemed to be someone following Himeko. Upon closer inspection, it was Hua, both unexpected and unsurprising.
She seemed startled by Yun Fuyu's forceful words, her azure eyes widening as she stared at him.
"Long time no see, Senior Hua."
Yun Fuyu greeted her politely, but he was probably in acting mode, giving a slightly embarrassed smile.
"I think I had too much to drink. If I said anything strange, please don't mind it."
"But there is one thing I always remember: whether I am sober or not, I will always regard Seele as the most precious thing in the world. This feeling is not open to anyone else to question or desecrate."
He bowed slightly, then straightened up and said, "Thank you for taking care of Seele in the Fifth Squad, and thank you for protecting her. My gratitude does not contradict what I said before."
He turned to look at Seele, who was looking down and seemingly lost in thought, and squatted down to lean closer, saying, "Seele, shall we go somewhere else to play? If you're tired, go back and rest for a while, and we'll meet again this afternoon."
Seele whispered, "You...you make Seele feel so scared."
He suddenly became very forceful in his speech, and his sophistry revealed a naked possessiveness towards Seele, which was completely unlike the reserved man he used to be.
Is this what drunk people are like?
Yun Fuyu covered her head in distress and groaned, "Oh my god, I told you I was drunk, and I actually scared you."
But then he smiled again: "The past is stillborn in my dreams, and the old me is no longer the real me. Now that things have come to this, of course I have to change my attitude towards life."